She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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