I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
