Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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