Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
