MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
