I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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