We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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