You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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