Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
