She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
