actually, I'm a sock model
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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