Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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