dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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