Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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