so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
