somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You left your phone here
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