so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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