so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I can tuck mytits in my pants
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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