He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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