He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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