butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
