Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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