So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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