who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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