but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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