I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
