I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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