I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
