I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
