and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
