ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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