buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
