I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
