Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
