She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have feelings that need drinking.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
