They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
