this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
