Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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