I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
