Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
