I hope mine doesn't look like that
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
