sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
