Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
