if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
