Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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