why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I need moral support for this bender
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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