We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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