before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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