i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
operation harelip BJ is a go
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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