He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
they need to just BURY HIM!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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