The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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