My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
