nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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