During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
